Door-In-The-Face

One theory that works well with persuading a parent towards a ‘study abroad option’ is the “Door-in-the-face” strategy. Here, you will start your conversation off with an extreme request that will inevitably be turned down. While it’s nice to set one’s parents up with a ridiculous request, one needs to make sure their request doesn’t go too far and cause the parents to cut the conversation off early due to it’s ridiculous nature. This theory works best without a time delay and a student will benefit the most if all can be said and done in a single conversation. A perfect example of a first question in relation to our topic would be:

“So, Mom and Dad. Remember how we’ve been talking a lot about this whole ‘study abroad option’? Well, I thought a lot about it and decided that I would love to spend a year traveling, I dunno… All around the world! What do you think about this?”

There is no need to mention the pricing if it’s too ridiculous, one must remember not to sway their parents too far away from the target. Nonetheless, at this point they will have their parents wrapped up in hysteria due to such a ridiculous request. Yet, being that they are that the parents and they want for their child to live a good life, they will hopefully feel a bit of guilt because of their refusal. This is where the persuader comes in with their second request. They will be trying to think of a better option, and well, thank goodness you have one ready for them, right?!

A good example of a second statement would be:

"Alright, alright. While I was really set on the year of world travel… I could really see myself settling in to Buenos Aires, Argentina for a semester. I don’t want to push you guys too far.”

Here, their parents will find themselves tied down by the idea behind the norm of reciprocity. Being a parent, they want to find a safe middle ground in conversations, and the student’s second (and original target) request seem to work a great deal better than the first.Just think about this request without the door-in-the-face strategy being used. A semester abroad is not something easy to request in relation to a (safe and comfortable) semester in good old ____, USA. However, when related to an extremely expensive trip around the world, a little old semester in Argentina starts sounding a great deal better than it would have if set up alone in the first request.